It ain't right It ain't fair Castles fall in the sand And we fade in the air And the good girls go to heaven But the bad girls go everywhere. Good girls go to heaven But the bad girls go everywhere, Somebody told me so Somebody told me now I know Every night in my prayers I'll be praying that the Good girls go to heaven, But the bad girls go everywhere. Meatloaf, "Good Girls Go to Heaven" _______________________________________________________________________ Kinmokusei Story Chapter Twenty-One: Departures by Kotetsu _______________________________________________________________________ "Are you sure about this?" "Yes, Seiya. I'm sure." Belinda's eyes were more sorrowful than any Seiya had ever seen before. Seiya looked down at her feet, afraid to glance at Belinda's eyes for even a moment. She understood, all too well, what it was like to feel one's own heart breaking into a million sickened, lonely pieces. The knowledge that she, Seiya, was inflicting this pain upon a person that she cared deeply about . . . it was almost too much to bear. "No one has ever willingly left the Knights before," Seiya said softly, still staring at her own feet. "You're destroying your career." Belinda shifted on her crutches. Her right leg was in a cast, already covered with colorful marker-drawn signatures and messages. "So I'll just take up another career outside of the military, then." Her voice was forcedly cheerful, but she knew that she wasn't fooling either of them. "All I have to do is remove the olive branch tattoo from my neck, right? That'll be painful, but I can handle it. And then it will all be finished . . . With the Queen's recommendation, I can enroll in pretty much any college or university that I want to. The severance pay from the Knights will take care of my tuition. I can do whatever I want, from now on. I'm still young, and I'm free. I'm free as a bird." Seiya still stared at her feet, and said nothing. The bustling sounds of the airport surrounded her; monotonous voices rang out over the intercom, travelers shouted at each other as they crowded through the gates, luggage was pulled and tugged and tossed around with careless abandon . . . Seiya found herself staring not at her own feet anymore, but at Belinda's feet, one resting in a boot, the other poking shyly out of her leg cast. There were two small suitcases resting on either side of her. "Seiya . . . " Belinda paused, her hands fidgeting at the handles of her crutches. "Seiya, please look at me when I talk to you. I want to remember your face." Slowly, painfully, Seiya lifted her eyes toward Belinda's. A faint, watery smile danced across Belinda's lips. "Don't feel bad that I'm trapped in a one-sided love, Seiya. I'm so very glad that we could be friends, at least. I'll cherish every moment that I spent with you. Forever. But I can't stay with the Knights, Seiya. Living in the palace beside you would be too painful." "I'll miss you." Seiya quickly darted her hands upward, wiping a tear from her eye. Then, somehow, miraculously, she managed to grin at Belinda. "We'll be friends forever, right?" "Right!" And then, they both giggled. Even through her giggles, Seiya could feel tears threatening again. But she held them back, refused to let them spill down her cheeks. The porter appeared over Belinda's shoulder, and began wordlessly loading her two suitcases on a cart. He stood then, silent, waiting. It was her signal to leave. "Ask your Earthling friend to bring back another football next time she visits," Belinda said, trying to sound flippant, casual. "Send it to me as an early birthday present, okay? Maybe I'll start a league, or something. Who knows?" "If you do, I'll definitely come to the games. I'll drag Taiki and Yaten with me too, no matter how much they protest." "That'll be a sight to see." Belinda was turning her body now, slowly; turning away from Seiya and toward her departure gate. Her crutches clacked against the ground as she turned. The porter was already walking ahead of her, pushing her luggage toward the gate. She spoke over her shoulder as she said her final goodbyes. "Take care, Seiya. Don't forget me." "I won't." Seiya waved at her departing back as she hobbled away. Belinda never turned around again, never saw the wave. Seiya slowly lowered her hand to her side. Her heart clenched in her chest. Then, realizing that there was nothing left for her to say or do, she, too, turned around and walked away. ******************** When Seiya returned to the palace, Taiki and Yaten weren't there. But that was okay, she had a hunch that she knew where to find them. So she left the palace again, searching, seeking . . . The sun was setting behind a brilliant silver shimmering ocean, a cool breeze ruffled the dune grasses gently, and the salty smell of the seashore made the air Seiya breathed feel cold and tangy at the same time. She found Taiki and Yaten sitting side by side on a grassy dune, silently, both staring at the setting sun, listening to Seiya's approaching footsteps but not bothering to turn around and acknowledge her presence. Seiya sat down beside them, quietly. "Have you been here all day?" she asked. "We were waiting for you, of course," Taiki answered. Seiya slipped off her shoes and socks and stretched her feet out, relishing the cool, scratchy feeling of the dune grass between her bare toes. Overhead, seagulls called to each other as they flew back and forth across the empty expanse of the darkening sky. "I just saw Bel off." Seiya's voice was even and unreadable. "Are you okay?" It was Yaten, this time; but only asking for the sake of asking. They all knew that Seiya was not okay. But they also knew that, supported by the love and companionship of her friends, she would eventually heal the wounds in her heart. Seiya knew this, and closed her eyes, feeling the sea breezes tickling her cheeks. "You know what's really weird? I woke up this morning, and I was thinking about Anya and Kuno." Neither of the other two said anything; they were waiting, patiently, for Seiya to continue. She did. "I was suddenly wondering what they would think about all of this. I sometimes think that they're still sort of watching over us, as weird as that sounds. They're still watching us, from wherever they are now. I think they must have watched the entire past month unfolding, right? And I wondered what they would have thought about how we did. You know, in our first victory. If they could have commented about our job performance, I wondered what they would have said." "What would they have said, Seiya?" "Well, I can just imagine Kuno now. He would be compiling a list of every mistake and strategical error that we made, and reading it - no, more like shouting it - out to us, and giving us that same old lecture, about how every mistake could be potentially fatal, and . . . and Anya would interrupt and say something like, 'You did an okay job at the end there.' And I think she would hug us. It's the least we deserve, after saving the entire planet and all. Not to mention the entire Andromeda galaxy." "Seiya . . . " Taiki turned her head slightly, frowning disapprovingly. "That's an irrational, illogical fantasy." "I dunno. It sounds logical enough to me," Yaten disagreed lazily, staring dreamingly at the setting sun. Taiki rolled her eyes. "You're not one to speak. You're the most irrational person that I know." "Worse than Seiya, even?" "At least Seiya follows predictable behavior patterns." Yaten giggled. "Predictable! That's a delicious word. Seiya, you're predictable." Seiya elbowed Taiki, because that was who she was sitting next to, and besides, Taiki had started it. "Haven't you learned anything, yet? The galaxy is an irrational, illogical place." "I know." Taiki smiled softly to herself. "I was just teasing you, that's all." The three of them fell quiet, watching the last of the sun slip below the distant watery horizon. Yaten leaned back on her elbows and closed her eyes. She stretched out her empathic senses, feeling gentle waves of Seiya's and Taiki's love lapping quietly against her heart, the same way the ocean lapped against the sandy beach below them. She relished the sensation. So, then. This was their victory celebration. A moment of peace and quiet, together by the seashore, content to bask in the warm glow of their love for one another. It was the perfect finale. Yaten didn't want the moment to ever end. Taiki stared at the darkening sea, her mind whirling with half-finished thoughts and ideas. There was so much to think about, she wondered if she would ever have time to sort through it all - she was still confused by the illogical, irrational matters of the human heart. Love was still so mystifying to her. Could she really let herself go, let herself drown totally in that enigmatic emotion from which she would never really hope to gleam even the faintest glimmer of intellectual understanding? She thought of Hideaki's soft almond-colored eyes and quirky, shy smile. She wondered if intellectual understanding was overrated. Did it really matter at all in the end? Probably not. No. Definitely, no. Seiya's gaze turned upward, toward the sky. She felt an aching pain in her heart, and winced as she remembered the look on Bel's face when she had . . . But at the same time, despite herself, Seiya couldn't help but feel a thrill of joy race up her spine. They had won. They had defeated Malathos, and saved their planet. Victory was sweet, indeed. But somewhere toward the northern horizon, the sky was growing too dark, too quickly. Clouds were rolling in. A few brief flares of distant lightning flashed across the sky. Soon, no doubt, there would be thunder. Seiya's heart sank. "There's a storm brewing out there." "There's always another storm." Yaten's statement was calm and accepting, almost fatalistic. Except that there wasn't even the faintest hint of resignation or defeat in her voice. "As long as there is light in the universe, there will always be shadows, right?" "And as long as their are Sailor Senshi, there will always be Chaos." "And as long as we're together, we can still fight together, right?" Seiya felt her heart lift again. "We can take whatever Chaos can throw at us, right, guys?" "Absolutely." "Of course." Yaten cocked her head, a puzzled frown forming across her lips. "You know, I don't think that all of the warnings in my dreams have been realized. Yet." She clicked her tongue in consternation, and the other two could hear her metal barbell hitting the back of her teeth. "Don't talk like that. It makes me shiver." Seiya stood up, brushing the sand and dirt off her pants. "Let's go back to the palace. Kakyuu is waiting for us." The other two stood up wordlessly; a moment later, the three of them left, walking together through the darkening dunes and hastening toward home. ******************** Kakyuu sat by the open window in her bedchambers, feeling the distant ocean breezes caress her cheeks, watching the sun set below the horizon, feeling, for once, peaceful and content. She had done a good job, after all. There was no more blood on her hands. Yet. There would still be battles in the future, but she felt confident that she could handle it. With her Senshi at her side, she could do anything. "You have a right to feel proud of yourself." Kakyuu heard the voice at her back, low, soft, sweet, like honey. A very beautiful voice, but unfamiliar. She frowned, still staring at the setting sun. Only Melinda and her Senshi were allowed into her private chambers without announcement. But the voice belonged to none of them. Who, then, had managed to sneak up behind her to quietly? Calmly, almost fatalistically, Kakyuu slowly turned around in her seat. And she suddenly felt her blood run cold. SHE was standing in the middle of Kakyuu's bedroom. Golden hair fading to rich crimson, lithe, tall, muscular body wrapped in a pale white gown, ruby eyes just a shade lighter than her own staring back at Kakyuu with an incomprehensible mixture of sorrow and guilt shimmering in her irises. Kakyuu swallowed, feeling her throat click dryly. "Galaxia," she managed to gasp. Galaxia's eyes lowered. "Forgive me, but I could not announce myself without compromising my safety." Kakyuu stared at her, blankly. She had never felt so confused before, never in her life. Her heart clenched in her chest. She simply did not know what she felt toward this woman, or what she should feel. She understood, on an intellectual level, everything that Tsukino Usagi had explained to her after the final battle on Earth - about Galaxia's past, about her attempts to contain Chaos, about the good heart trapped inside Chaos's dark shadow. But on another level, Kakyuu understood that the woman standing before her was responsible - DIRECTLY responsible - for the deaths of billions upon billions of people, including over half of the Kinmoku system's populace . . . She remembered Galaxia's servant murdering her mother right in front of her eyes, she remembered the Golden Senshi so easily and so gleefully striking down her own Senshi as she had watched helplessly, she remembered the sickening, nauseating wave of death that had passed through her heart as her entire planet had been systematically destroyed-- "What are you doing here?" Kakyuu asked, managing to keep her voice level, but unable to prevent her eyes from glowering hatefully. Galaxia still would not meet her gaze. "Many things," she answered cryptically. "Hiding, for one. I've been roaming the galaxy, hiding, for the past year. I may never be able to emerge from hiding ever again." Kakyuu shivered. Despite Sailor Moon's words, despite everything written in the Sol Report, the Galactic Union had still placed a trillion credit bounty on Galaxia's head. It wasn't often that a missing war criminal was charged with genocide on a galactic scale, after all. "I will not shelter you," Kakyuu said flatly. "I am not asking you to." Galaxia shook her head. "And I haven't come to apologize for what I did to you, either. It's not that I don't want to apologize; I do feel, though, that you are not yet ready to accept an apology. And what could I ever hope to offer you, other than empty words?" "You *killed* me," Kakyuu growled, through gritted teeth. She could feel her heart finally sorting through its emotional confusion, finally settling upon anger and hatred. "And you - you destroyed this system! You held the star seeds of everyone in your cauldron too long, until they were all rotted away or dying! Look at us, now - this planet, sparsely populated, the Colonies completely abandoned, society still tripping all over itself to recover from the blow, and--" "I understand that you have every right to be upset--" "Seiya' father and brothers!" Kakyuu suddenly cried out. "Taiki's father! Yaten's father and sister! Lady Anya and Lady Lara! Captain Kuno! All of them are GONE because of YOU!!" Galaxia finally raised her eyes to meet Kakyuu's. "What good will yelling at me do for them, now?" she asked, softly. "Your anger, and your hatred, cannot bring them back to you. You said it yourself - we cannot afford to dwell on the past." Kakyuu did not lower her eyes. But she felt her anger slowly fading, receding. "You're right," she agreed evenly, "yelling at you will not bring them back. But . . . it does make me feel better . . . to get that off my chest." Galaxia smiled, softly. "I'm glad to hear that." Kakyuu did not share her smile. "Why are you really here?" she asked again. "In all honesty?" Galaxia still smiled. "To congratulate you." "Excuse me?" "I said, to congratulate you. Believe it or not, I *do* feel sorry about all of the pain that I've inflicted upon you and your people. And although I know that you will not yet accept my apologies, please at least accept my congratulations for your recent victory. It gives me hope and faith again, when I can see Sailor Senshi that obviously love each other so much, that work so hard to protect their planet and their loved ones, that band together to overcome evil and secure peace once again." Again, Kakyuu felt her heart overwhelmed with confusion. Should she feel gracious, thankful for this strange speech coming from a woman that had once been her deadliest enemy? Should she feel anger again? Or maybe she should feel only sorrow, and pity, for Galaxia, who would remain for the rest of her long, long existence as a hunted, hated woman-- As if reading Kakyuu's thoughts, Galaxia's eyes suddenly became sorrowful. "There are billions of people within this galaxy that would give anything, anything for a chance to kill me, to avenge those that they have lost," she whispered softly. Slowly, carefully, Kakyuu took a deep breath. Inhale, exhale. And then she spoke. "But I am not one of them." She closed her eyes for a moment, then opened them, and continued. "Revenge is something that I will try not to succumb to. I feel a great deal of anger toward you, but not hatred. I accept your congratulations, with my thanks. And I will not dwell upon the past, so I really have no further need to speak with you. You may leave me now, since our conversation together is finished." "Finished?" A small smile danced across Galaxia's lips. "Nothing is ever finished, not really. Although I wish this were not the case, I realize that my legacy will not be finished, will not be buried in the galaxy's past, for many, many eons. And you and your Senshi - you are not finished, either. There are other battles to be fought, and other enemies to challenge you." "I understand all that," Kakyuu said, finally feeling a small smile of her own on her lips. "But my Senshi and I are growing, too." She placed her hand over her heart. "I felt my Sailor Crystal changing, today. I lost my wand when I sealed away Malathos, but I can feel a new weapon, and a new power, waiting for me, ready for me when I am ready to use it." Galaxia nodded her head. "It does not surprise me to see you mastering the ways of the Sailor Senshi, even at such a young age. In fact, it's quite what I expected from the Queen of Kinmoku." She tilted her head toward the door, suddenly frowning. "Your Senshi are coming for you. I do not think that they would appreciate finding me here." "I know. You must leave." "Farewell, my young Queen," Galaxia whispered. With a flutter of butterfly wings, she was gone. Kakyuu closed her eyes and leaned back in her seat. She could hear footsteps approaching outside her bedroom door. Not three sets of footsteps, though. Just one. And then, a knock on her door. "You may enter." Seiya pushed open the door, stepped through, and then closed it behind her. "I shouldn't be here," she said, quickly. "Lady Melinda already suspects. And the tabloids are spreading the rumors. I--" "Lady Melinda will keep any secret that I ask her to," Kakyuu interrupted, calmly. "She trusts me and loves me. I can feel it." Seiya shuffled her feet awkwardly. "I don't think she likes me." "She likes you." Kakyuu winked at Seiya. "Melinda merely holds all other servants of the Crown to the same high standards that she holds herself to. She criticizes you, but she would not waste her time doing so unless she believed that you were already contributing something valuable to the Royal Family." "The Royal Family?" "Just me, that is. As of this moment." "Oh." Seiya crossed the bedroom, and knelt at Kakyuu's side, lowering her lips to her Queen's hand and kissing her softly, gently. "Taiki told me about what might happen to us," she whispered, breathily. "Did she, now." Kakyuu looked down at Seiya, kneeling beside her. Slowly, Seiya raised her eyes to meet those of her Queen. Her true love. She said nothing, waiting patiently, obediently, for Kakyuu to begin speaking again. "Seiya . . . I can't promise you that the future ahead of won't be difficult. I can't lie to you, and tell you that there won't be trials, tribulations, and tests of our strength and our courage on the road before us. Life will be difficult, Seiya. It is difficult because of the burden that we bear as Sailor Senshi, as the protectors of this world. But, Seiya, my love, I *can* promise you one thing. No matter what happens, no matter what distances or what circumstances may conspire to separate us, I will always love you. From the bottom of my heart, from the bottom of my soul. And as long as we both know that . . . as long as we can both trust and love each other, truly and unconditionally, no matter where or how we may find ourselves in the future . . . as long as our love is true, we will never be lost, never be alone, and never be without hope and faith in a better future for both of us. So, Seiya, please don't look at me with all of that pain and confusion in your eyes. I know it hurts, the fact that we can't be together as lovers . . . yet. And I know it hurts, the fact that there is still danger and peril all around us, and we may never have a moment's worth of peace and rest, so long as there is still evil in the galaxy, and we are called upon to fight it. Seiya, life isn't a fairy tale. Perfectly happy endings may never actually happen. But what we have between us, what we feel for each other, is enough to bring me all of the happiness and joy that I ever wanted in life. And I know that deep down inside of you, you feel the same way. And someday, Seiya, maybe we will be together as lovers, living happily ever after like the prince and princess out of a fairy tale story. But if that's true, then we will still have to fight many long, hard battles in order to reach that point." She paused, her ruby eyes shimmering with what may have been tears. "I love you, Seiya. That's all that it comes down to in the end. That's all that really matters. So please don't feel confused or upset about our circumstances. Think of my love for you, and think of your love for me. Let that be your comfort and your strength. If you accept that, you will have no reason to ever be lost or lonely again." "Lost? Lonely?" Seiya shook her head. "Never. As long as I have you, I know I'll never lose my way again." She stood up, then, stepping away from Kakyuu, sadly, regretfully. "Life isn't a fairy tale, is it? The Knights are watching this room. I can't afford to stay with you tonight." She stepped toward the door, but smiled wistfully. "I'll keep you in my thoughts, all right? And I'll see you tomorrow morning." "For breakfast?" "As usual." "Seiya . . . " Kakyuu hesitated, almost afraid to ask the question. "Are you happy?" Seiya halted herself in mid stride, her back to the Queen. She answered, then - calmly, evenly, but undeniably honestly. "Yes. Finally so." She opened the bedroom door, and stepped across the threshold. Just before she was about to close the door behind her again, Seiya turned her head and glanced over her shoulder toward Kakyuu. "You know what? I'm thinking of starting a football league. Nothing big, just one or two teams, to have fun with, you know, just to play some skirmish games, here on the palace grounds. That is, if I can get enough interest from enough players." Without waiting for Kakyuu's response, Seiya finally closed the door. And then she was gone. Kakyuu sighed, and turned her head toward the open window again. She watched the fireflies floating among the ginyu trees, and thought of how good it felt to finally be peaceful and secure, back in familiar surroundings. Home. Home never felt so good. Kakyuu closed her eyes, watching the fireflies still dancing behind her eyelids. The end. Or, perhaps more appropriately, "To be continued . . . " ~ Kotetsu, 3/01 to 11/01