La angustia existe. El hombre usa sus antiguos desastres como un espejo. Anguish exists. Man uses his old disasters as a mirror. Roque Dalton, "Ars Poetica" _______________________________________________________________________ Kinmokusei Story Chapter Eighteen: Confession II by Kotetsu _______________________________________________________________________ Not more than five minutes after they landed, the four of them were escorted back to the royal palace by a troop of guards, and almost immediately, the Knights surrounded them. "Do you have the book?" Melinda demanded, holding out her hand. Seiya clutched the book protectively to her chest. "I think we're only supposed to give this to the Queen," she answered hesitantly. "Some welcome back," Yaten muttered under her breath. Minako wanted to reach for Yaten's hand, but decided that it would be an unwise decision, seeing as how the four of them were surrounded by dozens of watchful Knights. Many of the Knights were staring at her openly. Well, okay, Minako could handle that. She smiled and batted her eyes prettily. Let them get an eyeful of the Goddess of Love and Beauty, if that's what they wanted! "The Queen reported that you could decode the language--" "It was easy." Taiki shrugged, smugly. "Where is the Queen?" Yaten snapped at Melinda, equally as demanding. "Right here," Kakyuu answered calmly, pushing a startled Melinda aside. She glanced quickly at her Senshi; her face was calm and cool, businesslike. "Seiya, give me that book. You and Taiki follow Melinda to the Assembly chambers. The Lords and Ladies wish to hear a statement from you. Immediately. Felina, Belinda - escort Miss Aino to the Blue Office. You will wait for us to rejoin you there. Yaten . . . come with me. Now." The four of them exchanged nervous glances. Then, obediantly, Seiya held the book out toward Kakyuu. She bowed. "As you wish, my Queen." "As you wish, my Queen," Taiki and Yaten echoed, bowing. Minako stood awkwardly, unsure whether to bow or not. In a moment, it became a mute point. Two of the Knights appeared at her side, and began steering her away from the crowd. Minako glanced over her shoulder, watching Taiki and Seiya and the other Knights leaving to walk in the opposite direction. Finally, Yaten turned away too, following the Queen as she glided down the hallway. Yaten glanced once over her shoulder, to see if she could catch Minako's eye; but by that time, Minako was already gone. She followed Kakyuu, silently. Kakyuu led her all the way through the palace and into her private chambers. She finally stopped when they were within a comfortable little sitting parlor; Kakyuu gestured, and Yaten sat down obediently on a plush chair. A moment later, Kakyuu sat down across from her, gently setting the ancient spellbook down on a nearby coffee table as she did so. "I received a message from the Hocksetter Institute two days ago," Kakyuu began, rather bluntly. Yaten actually shivered in her seat. "I received a message from them, too. They know that we lied about what happened on Turan. But . . . they can't prove anything. Nobody can. So it's a total wash." "But they are displeased with us." "They wouldn't dare do anything about it." "Are you certain of that?" "I've heard rumors." Yaten shrugged. "Disappearances, accidents, suspicious deaths. But they wouldn't dare do anything to us, because we're Sailor Senshi, and we're too high-profile. You can't just quietly 'disappear' a Sailor Senshi. The whole planet would know about it." She glanced up at Kakyuu. "And no, I don't have any living relatives left for them to threaten or harm." "You feel safe?" "I feel safe." "Good." Kakyuu finally smiled. "Then I can stop worrying so much." The smile dissolved as quickly as it had come. "But that's not really the reason that I wanted to talk to you." "Oh?" "About miss Aino . . . " "Um, just Minako." "Minako." Kakyuu's eyes bored into Yaten's. "Do you really love her?" Yaten sat back in her seat. "Yes," she replied softly. But then, quickly, she added, "But you'll always be my Queen and you'll always be the first in my heart and you'll always--" "That's enough, Yaten." Kakyuu held up her hand, and Yaten fell silent. "I did not bring you here to question your loyalty. I never doubted it, not for a moment. But I did want to ask you whether you fully understood the consequences of your decisions regarding her." "Decisions?" Yaten laughed, nervously. "I've made no decisions yet." "Your heart has already decided for you." "Oh." Yaten lapsed into silence, pondering her answers. Kakyuu stared at her openly as she thought. It was such a strange but beautiful love, Kakyuu mused. Yaten, a distant, lonely soldier who so carefully guarded her emotions and her affections, and Minako, a bright, cheerful girl who gave her love so openly and so freely to all who touched her heart . . . Yaten had said that she first realized that she cared about Minako when she realized that even on Earth, Minako had been able to see through all of her layers and all of her masks, and share her friendship and love with the frightened, lonely person that Yaten had been underneath all of her facades . . . Kakyuu had watched, feeling more than seeing, as Yaten's feelings for that girl had slowly grown into something so intense and so deep that she herself could no longer deny it. Yaten was different when she was with Minako. She was gentle, friendly, affectionate, open, and yes, genuinely happy. Before, it was a side of her personality that she had only shown to Kakyuu and to Kakyuu alone. But now, with Minako breaking down the stone barriers that surrounded Yaten's heart, it was becoming more and more evident that, despite everything, the silver-haired girl was finally being tamed and gentled . . . Yaten glanced up at Kakyuu again, as if she were almost ready with an answer. Kakyuu waited, silently. "Well," Yaten began, "we will have to keep it a secret. Maybe not for long, maybe forever, I don't know. I don't even know when or how we can be . . . " She trailed off, blushing. "Ah, you know. But I have a home and a Queen here, and she has a home and a Princess on Earth . . . But just because we can't leave our homes for long doesn't mean that we can't be together at all." "You know," Kakyuu smirked mischievously, "You never asked for my approval in this matter." "I didn't have to ask. I sensed it." "That's awfully presumptuous of you." "Are you angry?" Kakyuu laughed. "No." "I knew you wouldn't be." Yaten grinned, but the grin quickly faded. "May I see her again, now? I want to say goodbye. She has to be sent back to Earth as soon as possible." "I hope that you're prepared for many more sad goodbyes over the course of your future." "I am," Yaten sighed. Kakyuu stood up, strode over toward her, bent down, and kissed her on the forehead. Yaten closed her eyes. Kakyuu bent down further, and encircled the smaller girl in her arms, hugging her. "I'm so happy for you," she whispered into Yaten's ear. "I'm so glad that you finally found love in your life." "What can I say?" Yaten giggled from within Kakyuu's embrace. "I like her shine." Kakyuu stood up, pulling her arms away from Yaten. "Wonderful. Now all we have to do is survive this final confrontation with Malathos, and you two can work out some sort of happily-ever-after ending." It was meant to be a joke, but Yaten didn't laugh. ******************** The Assembly members were full of annoying, stupid questions. Taiki sat back and let Seiya handle most of their answers. Seiya knew how to keep a cheerful face and a bright smile, and Seiya knew how to work the crowd. Did they get the book? Yes, of course they did, it was with the Queen at the moment. Could they decode it? Yes. Did they then stand an honest chance of defeating the creature called Malathos? Again, yes. They were Sailor Senshi, after all. That was their job. When the Assembly had dismissed them, Taiki and Seiya meandered back toward the Queen's chambers, to the Blue Office. Kakyuu was there; Minako and Yaten, however, were not. "I sent them away," Kakyuu explained, sensing the unspoken question. "They're probably in the gardens now. They wanted to say goodbye to each other. Minako will be returning to Earth alone." "I hope our delays on Turan didn't blow her cover story," Seiya winced. Kakyuu waved her hand noncommittally. "I mean no disrespect to Minako, but we do not have time to concern ourselves with her problems. We have the book, and we have the spell. Malathos is still weakened from the incident on Turan. We may never again see an opportunity like this. We should make our move right away." "Right away?" "Tomorrow, if at all possible. The sooner we get this over with, the better." She waved at them both with her hands, dismissing them. "Off to bed with you, both of you. I want us all to have a good night's sleep. We must be in top condition for our fight tomorrow." "So soon?" Seiya asked, still not over her surprise. "Would you rather wait until Malathos can grow stronger again?" "No . . . " "Then you understand our position." "Right." Seiya and Taiki nodded in unison. Again, Kakyuu casually waved her hand. "You are dismissed." ******************** Taiki was not surprised to find Hideaki sitting down on top of her bed, reading. She crossed over to him, kissed him on the forehead, and then pulled away. "I'm sorry, Hideaki, but no mischief tonight. I'm under the Queen's orders to go to sleep immediately." "Yes, I missed you too, and it's good to see you back, too." He closed his book, quickly. Taiki rolled her eyes. "You know I missed you." "Why sleep tonight?" "Because we're going to defeat Malathos tomorrow." "Oh. Good reason." Hideaki flopped over onto the bed, lying down finally. "I heard that you were supposed to cross back over into that dimension of his." "Yes." "Are you scared?" She laid herself down beside him, turning her face toward his. "Terrified," she whispered. Then she shuddered. "I don't want to go back there." He rolled onto his side, and wrapped his arms around her. "It's okay," he murmured soothingly into her ear. In response, she wrapped her arms around him, completing the embrace, pulling the two of them close together. "Don't say that if you know it's not true." "What am I supposed to say, then?" " . . . " He clutched at her, tightly. "What if you don't come back to me tomorrow?" "You know," she whispered, snuggling her face against his neck, "that's always the risk you take, when you fall in love with a Sailor Senshi." "You *will* win, won't you?" "Of course we will." "And . . . how are you doing?" "What?" "You know what." Now it was her turn to clutch at him. "Okay," she whispered, barely breathing. And then, "Hideaki, please hold me." She began to tremble. He held her, as tightly as he could. "If you haven't cried yet, maybe you should. There's no shame in crying. I've heard that it helps to flush things out of your system." Encircled by his arms, Taiki finally knew that it was indeed safe to cry. So she pressed herself into his embrace, and felt the first warm, salty tears slowly drip down her cheeks. ******************** Seiya, too, found a visitor in her apartment. It was Belinda, sitting on the couch, tossing her football up and down, the way that she had been doing on that distant morning that seemed so long ago . . . "How did you get in?" Seiya asked, rather stupidly, already knowing the answer. "You left the door unlocked." Belinda grinned, but the grin quickly faded. "I heard that you were going to finish this. Tomorrow." "Yeah." "You're crossing over into that monster's world?" "Yeah." "Do you think you can really win?" "I hope so." "Seiya . . . " Belinda stopped tossing the football, and held it in her lap, almost nervously. "Seiya, before you leave tomorrow, there's something that I want to talk to you about." "Sure, Bel. What is it?" "Ah . . . " Belinda hesitated, then shook her head. "Not tonight, I'm not ready yet, I'm not sure exactly how to say it . . . Is there any way that I can catch you tomorrow morning?" "Yeah . . . I was going down to the gym tomorrow morning to lift weights. Want to meet me there?" "The gym. How appropriate." Belinda giggled. "Not exactly ideal, but appropriate, I guess." She tossed the football at Seiya; Seiya caught it, easily. Belinda slid off the couch and started toward the door. "Pleasant dreams, Seiya." "You too." Belinda left, and Seiya retired to her bed. ******************** Reynard watched the surface of his mirror, bored, as the second of the Senshi slid underneath her bed covers. He waved his hand, and the mirror rippled and changed. Then it showed the third one, the little silver-haired brat that had caused Malathos so much trouble. She was in her bedroom, undressing, slowly and a bit despondently, the sweet taste of a farewell kiss still lingering on her lips. Reynard watched her unbutton her blouse and slip off her skirt with only mild interest. She slid a night shift over her head, untied the ribbon in her hair, sighed, and pulled back her covers. Reynard was, more than anything, repulsed by her thin, scrawny appearance. No, she was not the type of body to excite him at all. Hardly enough flesh to bite, let alone to . . . Reynard suppressed the thought. No more Wrong Fun, he reminded himself. He had business to attend to. Besides, it just wouldn't be the same having a bit of Wrong Fun with *that* girl. She was, after all, the type that tended to bite back. The girl slid into her bed - gracefully, beautifully, oh how it made Reynard want to wring her pretty little neck - and settled into her pillow, closing her eyelids. Reynard sensed her falling asleep. A shadow fell over Reynard's shoulder. Without turning away from the mirror, he reached upward with his hand, and stroked the snout of his youma. She rumbled deep in her throat and nuzzled against his neck. Type C youma, after all, never required human hosts. That made them the most powerful, and the most dangerous, of all. "See that one there?" Reynard tapped the mirror; his youma stood at attention, swishing her tail, settling back on her haunches, tapping her claws against the stone ground as she settled into a sitting position. "That's one target. There are three total. This one . . . " Reynard showed the youma the image of the sleeping raven-haired, girl. "And then this one . . . " The visage in the mirror changed yet again, revealing the last Senshi asleep in her bed, her arms encircling the annoying little minstrel, tears still drying underneath her eyelashes. Reynard winced as he remembered her thrusting her thumbs into his eyes. "Here's a thought, now. Be sure to rip that one's eyes out before you kill her. Bring them back to me, if you can." Eyeballs always made excellent magical charms, after all. Especially the eyeballs of a Sailor Senshi. The youma scratched her ear with her hind leg, a roundabout way to show that she understood. Reynard had bestowed his creature with enough intelligence to do well in a battle, but not enough intelligence to form sentience, speech, or a will of her own. Not that he didn't want to do so; but at the moment, he simply didn't have the strength, or the energy to spare. The youma nudged him gently, as if to ask a question. "No," Reynard answered. "Not now. Not yet. We must wait until tomorrow morning. See if we can't get them all together in one place first. Make it an easy kill." The two of them waited, and watched the mirror. Reynard was on edge; he was alert, feeling for the tiniest stir of energy from his Master. If Malathos decided to punish Reynard for his treason . . . But Malathos never stirred. He was still too weak, then. Good for Reynard. Bad for the Sailor Senshi. The long night hours wore away toward dawn. ******************** It was early the next morning, before the sun rose even, that Yaten found herself entering Lord Abbot's official offices. She strode right past the empty secretary's desk and resolutely opened his office door, without even bothering to knock, without even hesitating, knowing for a fact that Abbot was indeed already seated at his desk and waiting patiently for her, despite the absurdly early hour, despite the fact that she had given him no phone call, made no appointment, sent no advance notice of her visit. But then again, he already knew that she was coming, and why. Yaten stepped through the door. Lord Abbot folded his hands beneath his chin and rested his elbows on his richly polished wooden desk. "I expected to see you this morning." Yaten peered at him, carefully. "How do I know that I can trust you?" "Don't you trust me already?" "Yes . . . " "Forgive me for putting this so bluntly, but you're not nearly as talented empathically as you think you are. During the Sol Report hearings, your mental shields were almost virtually undetectable . . . but only almost. It is indeed a very fortunate occurrence that I was the only other empath in the room." "I know." Yaten shuffled her feet. "I knew you knew we were lying, the moment that you touched my mind way back then in Kakyuu's home." "But you also knew that I would never confide that secret in anyone. I would never hurt you, dear." "I know," Yaten repeated. She smiled, softly. "Thank you." "But now you have come to me because you wish to request a different favor?" "I'm still not sure if I need this or not . . . " Yaten hesitated, feeling her heart clench in her chest. Oh, how she hated admitting her own shortcomings! But Lord Abbot merely sat there, old and wrinkled and wise, gentle and understanding, patient, in no hurry, silently encouraging her to speak. "I still need a teacher!" Yaten suddenly blurted out. "I thought that once Lady Anya was gone, I would be all right on my own. And I was, for a while. But now there's just so much about it that I don't understand any more, and I know I'm due to become telekinetic in ten or so years, and I have no idea how to even go about handling something like that--!" Lord Abbot nodded gravely. "There's no shame in admitting it. You're still very young, after all. Why, I kept my teacher and mentor very close to me until I was well into my forties, just to make sure that I had complete mastery of my own limited empathic skill. Although you and I both understand, I'm sure, that you have far more raw power and future potential that I will ever have. But even so, I'm sure that there a few things I could teach you - subtle ways to control and channel your power, a few useful tricks or two . . . If you'll trust me." "Trust you?" Yaten laughed, relieved. "I already told you that I trust you. I don't know why, but I can tell that you're to be trusted." "I'm glad to hear of it." Abbot smiled warmly. "It's not often I receive a compliment from a Sailor Senshi." Yaten left Abbot's office a moment later, breathing a sigh of relief. As much as she had initially feared to admit it, she still did need an older and more experienced teacher to help her master her psi abilities. And not only was Abbot an important political ally to Kakyuu and the other Senshi, but he had also been, in the past, a very outspoken opponent of the Hocksetter Institute's policies and programs. Besides, Yaten could always appreciate honesty and loyalty when she really, truly sensed it within a person. She left the political wing of the palace, humming under her breath, forcing herself to ignore her worries about the day to come. She wondered, idly, if the entire meeting had really been nothing more than a way of taking care of the last of her unfinished personal business, just in case she happened to die during the battle with Malathos-- Yaten abruptly shook her head, ruthlessly suppressing the thought. ******************** Seiya awoke early. She threw on her old workout clothes and headed toward the gym, jogging and whistling as she went, struggling to keep her thoughts happy and cheerful. Well, if today was Doomsday, then today was Doomsday. She could at least lift a few last weights before she left, so that she could throw in a couple of good punches with her strong, well-toned arms when it came time to face the enemy. If she was going to go down, then she was going to go down fighting. The gymnasium, down in the lower levels of the basement, was deserted when Seiya arrived. She glanced around, sighed, and started jogging across the main floor toward the weight room. Then she heard a soft "ahem" at her shoulder. Seiya stopped, and turned. There was Belinda, standing right beside her. Seiya raised an eyebrow. "You're pretty good at sneaking up on a person." "Felina's teaching me stealth techniques. Did I really manage to sneak up on you?" "Yeah, you did!" Belinda glanced to her left, then to her right, nervously. "Are we all alone?" she whispered. "Yes," Seiya whispered in return, "we are. What do you want to tell me? Is it a secret?" "Sort of." "You know that you can tell me anything, Bel. We're friends, right?" "Mm-mm." Belinda shuffled her feet, uncharacteristically nervous. "Seiya, do you remember what I told you over the phone the other day?" "About what?" "About how, like, you're this beautiful, bright, shining light in my life, and how sometimes when I feel lonely, and I think about you, then I can feel better again . . . " She raised her eyes to meet Seiya's, and they were shining with something that Seiya, confused, could not name or identify. "I just feel like you and I have a special connection, you know? Like, we're always happy when we're with each other. And . . . And I just wish that I could tell you, or show you, how *good* you make me feel when I'm around you." "Bel . . .?" "I know it's taboo," she suddenly blurted out, raising her hands to clutch at Seiya's shoulders, "and I know that I'm not supposed to feel this way about you, but I . . . I turned it over and over again in my head, just to make sure, to make sure that there wasn't some mistake, or some doubt, or some flaw in it . . . And I can't find anything but truth in my feelings, and that's what scares me more than anything. Seiya, I-I-I . . . I . . . I . . . " If Seiya had ever had a moment of slowly dawning realization, it happened at that moment, when she stared deeply into Belinda's eyes, but her vision shifted, blurred, and lost focus; and then Seiya suddenly noticed Belinda's flushed cheeks, her heaving bosom, and her full, round, wet lips; and the words that Belinda had been saying so awkwardly and so clumsily finally clicked together in Seiya's mind. And Seiya's heart actually stopped, clenched and cramped with sudden terror. "I love you!" Belinda blurted out. Then she rose up on her tiptoes, thrust her head forward, and kissed Seiya, hard and passionately, on the lips. Seiya's mind exploded with panic. Seiya must have stiffened, or flinched, or something. Something must have given her away. Because a split second after Belinda's lips had touched hers, Belinda suddenly broke the kiss and pushed herself backward, settling back down on her feet, her hands letting go of Seiya's shoulders and pulling back, shrinking back, to her own body. Belinda stared at Seiya. The truth was written all over Seiya's face - her fear, her horror, her guilt, her surprise. And, worse than anything, the dread reflected in her eyes. Dread and sympathy. Pity, almost. Because she understood exactly what was about to happen to Belinda's heart. Because she had been there before, herself, in the past. Because she knew what a monstrously painful thing a broken heart could be. Belinda's hand flew to her heart and rested there, panicked, trembling. Her lower lip trembled. She was afraid to look away from Seiya's eyes, but still-- She felt her heart shatter, like glass. Splintered into thousands of sharp, painful little shards. Just like that. So easily, so quickly. She felt a sickening wave of nausea pass through her. Belinda sniffled, then, struggling to hold back tears. She would not cry in front of Seiya. She would not. She would not cause Seiya any more pain or guilt, not if she could help it. ""I'm so sorry, Seiya, I never meant to . . . " She scrubbed with her fists at the tears in her eyes, a childish gesture if anything, but at the moment, she honestly didn't care. "Look, just forget about it. Forget I ever said that. I didn't mean it. I was just something stupid, okay? I'm sorry." "Bel." Seiya trembled where she stood. "Bel, I'm so sorry . . . I don't know what to say, I just . . . Oh, God, Bel, I'm so sorry." "I'm sorry too," Belinda whispered, staring down at her feet, tears trickling down her cheeks. Seiya swallowed. Her mouth felt dry. Her hands trembled, but felt strangely numb. a nasty little voice deep down within her mind hissed at her. "Bel . . . " Seiya struggled to form the right words. "I care about you. A lot. You're a very, very special person to me, and . . . and a great friend. But I just don't feel that way about you, and it's not at all a reflection on you as a person, it's just . . ." Her hands flopped in the air, helplessly. "I can't - I mean, I don't - I mean, uh . . . If I ever sent you, uhm, false signals or anything, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to, and I would never - EVER - want to hurt you, and I can see that I've done that already, but I wish I didn't have to, I wish it didn't have to be this way--" "It's okay, Seiya," Belinda interrupted, fighting to hide the tremor in her voice. "I just thought that, you know, I had finally found someone who really truly understood me, and who really loved me for who I was, and . . . and I had all these wonderful dreams and fantasies about us being together forever, and we were always so happy at each other's sides, and we were always so--" "Stop it, Bel, please--" "And I just knew that if we could be together, neither of us would ever be lonely again--" "Belinda, please--!" "And all I ever wanted," her voice finally broke, "was for you to love me and adore me as much as I loved you and adored you--" She buried her face in her hands, and sobbed. Seiya stood watching her, helplessly. Finally, hesitantly, unsure whether she was about to make the situation better or make it even worse, Seiya stepped forward and circled her arms around Belinda's shoulders, pulling her into a tight hug, holding her and comforting her as best as she could. "I'm so sorry Bel," she repeated, knowing how useless it was, but also knowing that there was simply nothing more that she could say. "I am so, so sorry." "So am I, Seiya," Belinda gasped from within her arms, choking back a wet sob and shuddering. "So am I." ******************** Reynard watched the intensely private, intimate moment from behind his mirror. It was fascinating. Two such strong, beautiful hearts, writhing in such agonizing pain . . . Reynard pursed his lips and mused at the mirror. He had never paid much attention to the personal life of his favorite little youma carrier, the heartbroken young Knight. He wished that he had decided to watch her more closely, and earlier. There was such delectable pain in her heart. He would have enjoyed watching her, yes indeed. His youma, still at his side, growled low in her throat. "Go now? And interrupt this tragic little moment?" Reynard found the idea instantly attractive. "Why, yes, of course! Kill them both, and let them die with their hearts in torment. Granted, this will rouse the other two Senshi right away, and draw them right to the scene of the battle, like moths to the flame . . . Although, when confronted with the mauled body of their comrade, they may be temporarily distraught or disoriented. It will be easy to finish them both off, then." The youma sprang back on her haunches. "Remember what I said about the eyes," Reynard admonished her. "The tall one, with the auburn hair. Don't forget." He waved his hand. He concentrated. The wall between the two dimensions rippled, weakened, opened-- And the youma sprang through. - end part eighteen -