Tension of the Past

Part 4

Notes:  If you’re embarrassed by sex, you better not read the flashback scenes.  There’s nothing graphic, but there’s enough.  I’m not exactly condoning (supporting) teenage sex, but if things were going to happen properly, chronologically and logically… they would have done “it” when they were 16.  Ahem.  The thing that gets me about sex isn’t the act.  It’s the act without love.

Consider this an act of love, and you’ll have no problem.

*~*~*~*

The darkness fades from my eyes… and there is light… finally after so long… peace shall lie in our hearts as it has in the land… only until every heart is carefully loved will evil be truly destroyed.

Minako… Venus-san… don’t brush aside the love that is given to you this time… the world has never depended on you more than now.

*~*~*~*

The mist parted before her power as Serenity walked to the Gate of Time to meet her guardian.  It had only been a month or a moment… she could never tell anymore… time existed only if the people lived by it… and Serenity did not usually let the setting of the sun control her life.

The air beneath her feet solidified into form, and she knew that Sailor Pluto was only a moment away.

The mist quickly receded as the two women met eyes, and the guardian of time deeply bowed to the queen.

“Pluto-san… please get up…” Serenity was still uncomfortable with her friends bowing to her, even after all these years.  There was this sense of intimacy that was completely lost when you were put on a pedestal… and she hated it.

“Yes, your Majesty…” Pluto smiled knowingly.  “I’m glad you came to see me.  A lot has been going on.”

Serenity frowned.  “Yes… I was hoping you could help me.”

“Oh?”

“I’m worried that our peace will begin to fade.”

“The peace of Earth?  Or of our own private planet?”

Serenity moved closer to Pluto.  “Of everything.  There’s this feeling inside me that won’t go away.  Mercury, Venus… everybody.  They seem so... restless.  And I almost know what it is, but I can’t do anything to help.  I can’t seem to help anyone anymore.  I’m this distant star who is too far away to touch.” 

The queen placed her delicate hand over Pluto’s, and the soldier flinched slightly, fueling Serenity’s sadness. 

“Sometimes I miss the way it was before Crystal Tokyo began, before I became queen.  When I was one of them, and not just protected by them.  They are my friends, but also my guardians, when before we were fellow senshi.”

“Sometimes a queen must make sacrifices to save her kingdom.  Even if it is her own private life.”

“I disagree,” answered Serenity.  “If my life is not happy, if I can’t help those I love, how can I rule an entire people justly?”

“It seems you have the answers you need already,” said Pluto.  “Why did you come here?”

“I don’t know.”  Serenity laughed slightly.  “You’re the only one I can come to at all.  Endymion won’t be back until tomorrow, and everyone was gone when I left the royal chambers.”

“You need something,” said Pluto.  Finally, she held Serenity’s hand.  “I don’t know if I can give it to you.”

“I need… reassurance.  You’ve always been there to guide me and keep me strong.”

“Then maybe it’s time to learn to live without them.  Your Majesty, I can’t tell you what to do, and neither can the rest of the senshi.  You must decide what to do with your power.  We have always gained strength by being in numbers, but what makes the group is also the individual.”  Serenity lowered her gaze slightly, taking in Pluto’s words.  “It is a time of peace.  Earth is finally safe forever because of you.  Because of all of us.  The time of outward evil is over...  Your purity has guided us to who we are meant to be.  People sometimes lose their way.  It’s not your fault.  There is a lesson they must learn.  You have found your happiness.  Now it is their turn.  They need to find what is holding them back from their true form and change.  Help is always fine, but it is up to them to decide what to do.”

“You’re right,” said Serenity.  “Thank you.”

They both smiled, and a sweet silence filled the realm.

A sun harboring a billion lives speeds to this Earth, a force magnified to ours, bound by strings that no one can see.  The lives of the senshi will end when we invite them to our home.

Serenity’s eyes widened, her heart pounding in her chest.  Taking a sharp intake of air, she clung to Pluto as the force of a thousand words drove through her body.

“My queen!”

“…I’m fine…” she whispered, and grounded herself.  “I must return to the palace.”

“Don’t be afraid,” murmured Pluto.  “The future is never certain.”  Serenity only shook her head, and raced back her home.

The lives of the senshi will end when we invite them to our home…

*~*~*~*

“Aaaaamiii-chan.”

“Eh?  What is it Minako-chan?”

“Guess what I have?”

Ami looked up from her book to see a pair of keys dangling in her face.  “What’s this?”

“The keys to the apartment of Three Lights!” she cried out in pride.  There was a sudden hush in the classroom as all the girls (and some guys) stopped eating lunch to hone in on those keys.  Flushing at her foolishness, she closed her eyes, digging through her mind to find her little folder of escape plans, and picked one out.  “Did I say the keys to the apartment of Three Lights?  Silly me!  I mean the Three Lights key chains to MY apartment!  See?  There’s my little Yaten chain, and my Seiya chain…”

The class lost interest soon enough, long ago realizing Aino Minako was a nut, and let her go.  Ami, on the other hand touched the keys with gold, knowing Minako’s truth. 

“Sugoi…” she whispered.  Minako quickly lifted them from her reach, kicked a kid out of his desk, launched into it, and rammed it next to Ami’s so they sat cheek to cheek.  “Why are you showing me this?”

“Because, silly!  You’re coming with me tonight to clean their house.”

“Did you get their permission?”

Minako glared at her and ignored her question, filling in with, “Anybody appreciates a good house cleaning.  Come on!”

“Where did you get these?”

“Remember way back when?  When I was their assistant for like two days?”

“Wasn’t that just last month?”

“Whatever.  Anyways, they never asked me for their keys back.  Well, no wait, they did.  But I accidentally gave them the keys to my house.”

“So that’s why you’ve been staying with Makoto-chan all this time!”

“Shush!  What am I supposed to do if my parents are staying in France for three weeks?  You can’t pass up an opportunity like this, Ami-chan!  They’ve been out of school because they have a gig in Osaka, and they’re finally coming back home tonight!  Don’t you think it would be the nice thing to do to clean their house up as a ‘welcome home’ gift?”

Ami was stunned, flattered, anxious, wary and excited at the same time.  It wasn’t often Minako asked her to join her on one of her adventures, and Ami had a sneaky suspicion it wasn’t because she was fun.  She was gullible, easy to run over.  But when one is asked to join somebody in romping around an idol band’s apartment, one says yes.  “It WOULD be wonderful.  But why are you asking me?” 

“Should I have a reason?”

“You ALWAYS have a reason, Minako-chan.”

“Well, you know Rei-chan’ll just sit around and do nothing, and Mako-chan’ll probably just start cooking for them.  Usagi-chan will only raid their fridge.  The way I see it, we’re the only ones who can apply ourselves.”

Ami sighed, only half agreeing with her.  “Tonight?”

“After school.”

“O-okay,” she said hesitantly, and Minako smiled, giving her a peace sign.

“Hey, what’s the worry?  We’ll be in and out before they get back home.”

If Ami had ever believed her, she had no idea how wrong Minako was.

*~*~*~*

The first thing Ami saw when she woke up were his eyes.  Those beautiful eyes she had longingly gazed into in her dreams, and now they were here, warm and shining, full of worry and yet relief, unlike the cold and distant copies she had tried so hard to love.

“Taiki,” she murmured.

“I’m here,” he answered.

She tried to look around, but everything was out of focus.  When she had stopped seeing double, Ami sat up, the blood in her body jerking into activity, and the dizziness returned to her.  His hand rested against her back, and she leaned into it for support.

“Careful,” his soothing voice calmed her nerves, and slowly she became more accustomed to her surroundings.

“I’m fine, really.”

Six new heads popped into her vision, and voices bombarded the silence.

“Mom!  Are you okay?  What happened—?"

“Don’t ever do that again—“

“You scared me to death—“

“I can’t believe it—“

“You’re lucky you didn’t hit the ground—“

“Are you sure—“

“I’M FINE!”

The noise quickly stopped, and Ami cleared her throat.  “Really.  Everything’s okay.”

She got off the floor of the Grand Hallway, dusted herself off, and sighed.

“How long was I—“

“Only a minute,” said Makoto.  Rei nodded next to her.  Ami sighed in relief.

The sound of echoing footsteps filled the room, and everybody turned to see the Taiki clone running from the scene.  Makoto and Minako looked at each other, excused themselves politely, and ran down the hall after him, their small murmurs of calling upon the powers of the senshi wafting to the ears of the group.

“Venus Love Me CHAIN!”

There was a loud thud, an even louder curse, and the click of heels stopped.

“You never stop do you?” Jupiter’s voice bounced off the walls.

The voice answered in a low and heated voice, the reverberations distorting the sound beyond comprehension.

“Wonderful, just keep it up, buddy, and you might never see the light of day again.”

As the two senshi dragged the defeated foe away, the situation turned back to the former predicament.  Ami and Taiki looked at each other, coughed a little, and coughed a little more before Rei said, “Wow, look at the time.  Hotaru-chan, let’s show our guest around the palace.”

“What?  Oh, sure.  Yaten-san, you’d love the gardens…”

“Really…” Yaten said vaguely, seeming more intent on looking from Taiki to Ami to Ichigo, who each blushed in embarrassment at the curious set of eyes. 

“Yaten-san?”  Hotaru coughed, but Yaten didn’t lose his concentration.

“We have some serious talking to do,” he muttered before leaving with Rei and Hotaru down the hall, not without a few looks back, and a few exasperated and amazed murmurs of, “What the hell has been going on?”

There was a long awkward silence as Ichigo looked up at his father.  His REAL father.  His father he had never met.  Along with the wonder and the shock, there was the anger and the hurt.  He didn’t want to destroy his mother’s healing heart all over again, so the only thing he could was walk away.

“I’ll be going now too…” said Ichigo once everybody left.  “I should check up on Chibi-Usa.”

“Chibi-Usa?” asked Taiki.

“Ichigo—“ began Ami, but her son waved her off.

“I’ll leave you two alone,” he said, and forced a smile, but Taiki saw the confusion in the boy’s eyes.  “It’s been a while, anyway.”

“Ichigo—“ started Taiki, the name rolling off his tongue like a flavor yet to be deemed sweet or salty.

“I’m fine.  Later.  I promise.  But I shouldn’t have left her alone.”

Before the tension was too much, Ichigo ran away, his hand instinctively covering his heart.

The two were alone now… but with all the questions racing through their heads, neither one of them could open their mouths.  Ami turned away slightly, but Taiki grabbed her hand.

“You never told me.”

“I couldn’t have.”

“Why?”  It was a whisper.  A whisper of pain and anguish and doubt.  “Was it me?  I should have told you the truth from the beginning, I should have—“

She spun around, and stared into his eyes.

“No.” she said forcefully.  “No... never.  You did nothing wrong… but how could I make you leave your princess?  I know what it is like to be away from the one you are supposed to love and protect.  It’s like losing a part of yourself.”

Taiki’s eyes closed at the truth.  But you are also one of those people, Ami…

“I wasn’t even sure that what we had done together created a new life…” There was a small pause.  “I had thought for so many nights, ‘He’ll come back, I know he will’… but it had been so long, Taiki, and I lost hope.  I thought… I don’t know what I thought… I lost my soul for only a short while… but in that brief time… I can’t forgive myself for what I’ve done!”

Suddenly, a wildness appeared in her eyes, a look of pure uncontrollable confusion and power and pain that startled Taiki as nothing had before.  The sound in his ears filtered out, honing in on one sound, a heart beat, raising in speed.  Faster and faster as the blood rushed through, and adrenaline swept through her veins, fueling her self-loathing.

“Ami…”

Taiki grabbed her by the shoulders, pulling her to her chest, bending over enough for their hearts to touch.  And as her heartbeat slowly went down, his raised, until finally, they shared the same pulse, a throbbing that pounded against the rib cage with a force that could not be shared.  He felt her fear of losing herself in loneliness and pain, as she felt his fear of losing her from the same things.

*~*~*~*

“You tricked me!” cried Ami as they paced the apartment.  “It’s spotless!  Of course they have a cleaner to do it for them.  I can’t believe you!”

“Come on, Ami-chan.  I knew you couldn’t say no to something that was ‘moral’.  Just forget about it and help me find something to blackmail them into going out with me.”

“No!”

She shrugged, and then grinned devilishly.  “Suit yourself.  But I’ll be elbow deep in Taiki’s underwear drawer.”

Ami began to turn a beet red, and started to sputter.  “You will NOT.”

“Then do it yourself!  We can double date!  How about that?  I’ve never been on a double date before… I mean with FOUR people instead of three…”

“I’m leaving.”

“No!”  She clasped Ami’s hands in her own and began to tear up.  “I don’t want to be alone!”

“What is wrong with you, Minako-chan?  Shouldn’t you be trying to have all Three Lights head over heels in love with you?”

“I tried that once, remember?  It didn’t work.  I’ll take them one at a time.  But for now, you can have Taiki until he comes to his senses.”

“What?!”

“Hey, now!  You know me!  I never try to break apart love, no matter what!  And I see the way you look at each other… eh eh?  Am I right?  You know I’m right.”  Ami blushed furiously.  “So you get into his room right now and find some incriminating evidence!”

Ami found herself being shoved into the hallway, and sighed as Minako skipped past her into the bathroom.  “Eeek!! Ami-chan!!”  She came bounding back out of the bathroom flailing a green toothbrush in the air.  “An Ernie toothbrush!!  Ernie!  Not Bert!  Oh, Seiya, you darling, darling man.  You really know how to reach a girl’s heart.” 

She squealed and closed her eyes, clutching the toothbrush to her chest, and Ami rushed into Taiki’s room and slammed the door closed.  If there was one piece of advice Ami could give to another so they could keep their sanity it was never ever ever let Minako into your bathroom.

Sighing, she shook her head and surveyed the area.  Impeccable.  Everything was completely orderly, nothing out place, and Ami had a sneaking suspicion it wasn’t just the cleaning lady.  The room was warmly lit, and the colors used were deep and earthy, very subtle, very quiet.  She felt safe in this room, even looking out of the window at the skyline, knowing that somewhere out there the enemy was waiting. 

“SAILOR V BOXERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” came the scream from Yaten’s room.  Ami knew for a fact Yaten dug his own grave by owning those.  Poor guy, he was done for.

Quietly, almost guiltily, she walked around the bed, her fingers brushing the expensive comforter, and headed to the book shelf.  There weren’t any trinkets or pictures on the shelves to give it character, but Ami could feel his energy through the books that he chose.  Shakespeare, Homer, Virgil.  Classics were the only things worthy to be placed on Taiki’s shelf, but she couldn’t help but notice a shoujo manga tucked between The Tale of Genji and Pride and Prejudice.  Her heart did a little dance when she found it was HER own favorite manga.

So You’re Becoming a Man was the title that caught her the most.  Ami giggled and took the book off the shelf, gingerly opening it to the front page where a small inscription lay open and vulnerable.

I thought this might be useful.  God knows you need it.  Yaten.

Ami pouted slightly and shook her head in sadness.  Those two could really be harsh on him.  They didn’t understand what it was like to be different, to be at such an intelligence… 

“To be lonely.”  Her fingers instantly came to her mouth, surprised the words had come out, and she closed the book, placing it on the shelf and grabbed a hold of an old antique collection of fairy tales.  This had been what she was looking for.  Dreams.  Fantasy.  Beauty.  Love.  Everything that Taiki denied was in this well-worn, fraying book.

There was some hope for him after all.  Carefully she brought the book to her face and inhaled.  She loved the smell of old books.  She didn’t know what it was that made the scent so appealing, but she knew life couldn’t be good without it.

She opened the book, when suddenly a small slip of paper fell from it and floated to the ground.  She knelt down and picked it up, her eyes absently scanning over it until she realized it was a poem.  A poem that Taiki wrote.  Her eyes moved back to the beginning and read slowly, eating his words, committing them to memory, the carefully crafted phrases nestling into her heart to rest forever.

Suddenly, she felt a brush of warm breath against her neck, and she straightened up suddenly, her worst fear coming closer to reality than she wanted.

“Enjoying yourself?”  The voice was low, monotone, warm and yet ice cold.  She swiveled around to stare straight into Taiki’s chest, so close, and she looked up into his face, into those purple eyes, so close, closer than they had ever been before.  It was in that moment she fell in love with them, and before he blinked, she could almost make out tiny galaxies in the amethyst depths.

Her mouth dropped, and Taiki took the book before she could let it go.  Where had all the time gone?

“WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY ROOM?!!!!!!” was the scream that came from Yaten’s door.

They were caught.  They were dead.  They were out.  Well, Minako was anyway, and Ami could hear her pleas as the girl was pushed out of the apartment.  Suddenly, Yaten slammed the door open into Taiki’s room, his face red with fury.

“She stole my Sailor V boxers!” he fumed.  “I couldn’t pry them out of her hands.”

“Dude!  She took my toothbrush!” wailed Seiya as he flounced after Yaten and flopped onto Taiki’s bed.  “What did she take of yours?”

“I think the question would be ‘what did she leave behind?’”

They both blinked and stared at the beet red Ami.  “I THOUGHT I saw an extra pair of shoes at the entrance.”

“Mizuno-san?”  Seiya blinked and sat up.

She wanted the earth to swallow her up at that moment.  Damn Minako… this was all her fault, and Ami would be the one to get the worst of it.  A small mewl escaped her and she tried to flee, but Taiki’s arm stopped her from going.

“Aino-san dragged you along, didn’t she?”

“Aa…”  She ducked her head, blushing even harder, her face in a painful grimace.

Seiya began to laugh.  “Aino-san tries WAY too hard.”

“This isn’t anything to laugh about!!”  cried Yaten.  “She’s walking home with my underwear!”

“I TOLD you not to buy them!  I TOLD you!  But NOOO… you insisted that Sailor V Co. used the best cotton.”

“They DO!”  Seiya began a giggle fit as Yaten glared at him.  “Well, at least she grabbed that awful toothbrush, too.”

“What’s wrong with my Ernie toothbrush?”

“It’s for a five year old!”

“I have small teeth!”

“Well, anyway it’s gone, and that’s all that matters.”

“Now I can use the Grover one I bought the other day.”

Yaten groaned as Seiya smirked.  Only Taiki was silent, as he watched Ami’s inner torture carefully, wondering what to do with her, whether to comfort her, or drive her away.  Oh, it would be so easy to drive her away, he was furious at her for invading his privacy, for dipping her hands into his tainted soul, his body ached to get her out of sight… and yet… something told him not to…

“It’s getting late,” Taiki said.  He turned to look at Seiya who only shrugged and yawned, but stopped as he noticed the narrowing of his tall friend’s purple eyes.  Sensing something was up, he looked back and forth from both geniuses before a wide grin filled his face.

“Oh, riiiight!  Gotcha!”  He winked.  “Oh, man!  Look at the time!  Let’s go, Yaten.”

“Eh?”  Yaten watched as Taiki put his hand on Ami’s arm protectively.  “You’ve got to be kidding me.”

“Let’s not get all worked up this late at night, okay?  You never fall asleep, and I don’t want to have to make you milk and honey again.”

“Shut.  Up,” Yaten said through clenched teeth.

“Then let’s get out of here,” Seiya answered.  “I don’t think I like Taiki too much with all that sexual tension eminating from him.”

“OUT,” said Taiki fiercely, and the two boys jumped up and ran out of the room, closing the door behind them.  Ami wilted even more when they heard their laughter bounce off the walls.

“Don’t listen to them,” he murmured.  “We’ve had a long day.  I’ll admit it was a shock to see you in my room going through my personal things.”

“Gomen nasai,” Ami sobbed quietly, and tried to flee, but Taiki held onto her arm.  She whimpered when she realized she was pinned between his body and the bookshelf.

“What did you think of it?” he asked, gesturing to the poem she clutched in her hand.  She stopped her struggle to stare up at him, eyes wide, face white with fear.  “That bad?”

“No!” she cried vehemently, some courage coming back to her.  “It was the most beautiful thing I’ve ever read.”

Loneliness, despair, so small… these are the things we have in common, you and I.  How intelligent we both are, how many doors are opened because of our test scores, but at this height we can only stare out the window at the people below and yearn for that freedom.  Our minds are our cages, and yet you can fly away on your dreams, and I am captive here in my own reality.

“Do you really think so?”  The question was eager, curious, and his eyes were searching for something, something she couldn’t comprehend.  But she knew one thing: she was safe.  She had nothing to fear.

“I really do think so,” she whispered.  “Is this what you feel?”  He didn’t answer her as she searched his face, and she took it as a yes.  “So sad…” she pressed a palm to his cheek, and he exhaled tremblingly, leaning into her touch as the tears spilled out.

There were no words after their lips touched, nothing could describe what their hearts felt.  Only an explosive emotional release as he held her to him, keeping her tight, afraid to let her go, afraid she would try to run even after her arms were wrapped tightly around his neck.

They had never experienced anything like this before.  Especially Taiki.  A guardian didn’t have time for romance, to steal kisses from an infatuation before rushing off to slaughter an enemy.  His time was taken up by his princess…   And yet now, time made way for Ami.

Neither of them intended to go as far as they went.  Both were more than content to spend the passing minutes just holding each other, but somewhere in between a moment and an hour later, a glitch in reason occurred.  They were only faintly aware of a bed materializing beneath them, of clothing slowly dissolving, of bodies melding together, of minds fusing, and souls mingling.  It was quiet and sweet and clumsy, but it was healing and right.  So very very right.

It wouldn’t be until the next day that Taiki would remember he was actually a woman and realize he had just made love to a girl who thought he was actually a man.  And it would be all too soon before Ami would realize the same thing, and even sooner when she would realize their one and only act of love had created a life.

He distanced himself from her at first with the happy excuse that there was no time to be together with defeating the enemy, concerts, school, and the bombardment of questions and hints from friends.  They distanced themselves even more when their true selves were revealed, when they stared at each other in shock while the words I should have known… I should have recognized that energy played in their minds.  There was guilt, shame, and a slight sense of wonder.  Confused, Ami kept the child inside her a secret, ignoring his quiet cries of explanation… but through it all, she never stopped loving him, nor did he stop loving her.

And they distanced themselves seemingly indefinitely when he left.  Ami plastered on a smile as her heart died inside, as she watched him… no, her… fly away.  All she wanted was to race after her to scream out I love you!  Come back!  Please!  I’m going to have a baby!  I’m going to lose you forever, you’ll never know your child… you’ll never know that I ached for you every single night… that I DO care for you.  It wasn’t a mistake!  I don’t care if you’re a woman or a man, you’re Taiki… you’re my child’s father… no matter what…

Those words festered in her heart for nine hundred years, as she watched her son grow older, wiser, sweeter, more and more Taiki with each passing day.  And then, one day, something inside her just broke, so easily… a voice whispering in her ear, and all she knew was she had to make Taiki come back to her, even if it was making him completely.

*~*~*~*

“Don’t leave me, Ami,” he whispered.  “Please.  I’ll never be away from you again.  I love you.”

A small sob escaped her, and slowly he straightened his back, so her head rested on his chest.  She buried her face in his shirt, and he closed his eyes as her breath heated his skin.

The hallway was still and silent except for the woman’s crying.  The couple did not move an inch for fear this was a dream, that any disturbance would awaken them.  But finally, the Mercury princess sighed heavily, and brushed her hands against his hair.  They parted slightly, but not too much, and looked at each other.  Two glorious smiles brightened the room, and Taiki had to keep from laughing in joy.

“There you are,” he said, and their lips touched sweetly, the smooth pink skin pressed against each other assuring that it was so very real.  The kiss ended, and Ami placed her hands on his face.

“Should we meet them in the garden?”

Ami nodded, and they walked slowly down the hallway, arms around each other, and hips touching.

My friends, Minako, Rei, Makoto… you’ve given up on love because you feel there’s only one to devote your life to.  You’ve been fine for so long, but I watch how you look at Serenity and Endymion, how you stare at Ichigo and think of me… I need love in my life.  I WANT it.  And I know you do too… our lives have always been about sacrifice… I don’t want to be a part of that anymore.  I choose to serve my queen in the best way I can.  With living my own life in love.