"Blurring and stirring the truth and the lies
So I don't know what's real and what's not
Always confusing the thoughts in my head
So I can't trust myself anymore
I'm dying again..."

-- "Going Under" - Evanescence

*~*~*~*~*~*

Land of Confusion
Chapter 13: Hit the Bottom

*~*~*~*~*~*

If there was one thing that annoyed Rhys to no end, it was being physically incapacitated. He hobbled furiously down the hospital's narrow halways on his crutches, still bloody and battle weary. His right leg was cast in plaster from his knee to his waist, and despite being relatively agile, he was getting nowhere fast.

"Darn...hospital bureaucracy," he wheezed, nearly decapitating a nurse as he rounded a corner. "'If you hadn't run with her all the way to the ER, your leg wouldn't be this bad,' said the surgeon. Well, if any of the EMTs had been on call and not on freaking coffee breaks, I wouldn't have had And they made me wait there for two hours, and I'm royalty! I'm going to demand some answers, oh yes I am..."

He found Seiya outside Room 124, wringing her hands and looking just as frazzled as he was.

"Uh...hi, dear," he tried lamely, limping toward her.

"They're not telling me anything!" Seiya shrilled, nearly knocking Rhys off his crutches with an exuberant gesture. "They've been in there an hour and they won't tell me anything! We're Senshi, for Chrissakes! Kakyuu's still there, but they won't let me in!"

"Whoa, take it easy, Smokey," Rhys teetered for a bit and then regained his balance. "I'm only working at 50 percent right now; the slightest mistake could send me back to Urgent Care. And you're still recovering from being dead."

Seiya began wringing her hands again, the bandage over her head drooping over one eye. "I'm sorry, I just want to know if Taiki's really...I want to know if they can save her."

Rhys attempted to sit down in an awful plastic chair, but only managed in collapsing into a heap of blue armor.

"A little help?" he said meekly.

Seiya fixed her bandage, and then scooped up the blue-haired teenager. "What would you do without me?"

"Crawl around on all fours, I imagine..." Rhys got relatively comfortable in the plastic chair, and propped his crutches against an adjacent one. "Any word about Vail?"

"No!" Seiya nearly burst into hysteria, but then calmed down. "I can't get a word out of anyone. You'd think I'd have a right to know..."

"Not even a Sailor Senshi can defeat the health care system." Rhys smirked until Seiya slapped him lightly on his shoulder.

"Can't you ever be serious?" she huffed, sitting down next to him.

"Nope. Not in my contract." He put his arm - the one not heavily wrapped in bandages - around Seiya's shoulders, and she snuggled in close to him.

"The worst part is," she sighed, "we couldn't get rid of Rufus. We can't do it without Taiki, and Kakyuu was in no shape to transform..."

Rhys nodded. "Especially after we thrashed her bedroom. But you and Yaten held up well.

"Not that I was much help..." he groused, and Seiya nudged him.

"Hey, you ran all the way to the hospital with Taiki. That counts."

Rhys chuckled. "I wouldn't call it 'running' so much as 'flailing lamely in a zig-zag line.'"

At that moment, Kakyuu slipped out of the room, looking rather grim. Seiya felt her heart drop to her knees.

"Ouhi, don't tell me..."

Kakyuu looked at the imaculate white floor. "I've got good news, and I've got bad news."

*~*~*~*~*~*

"Taiki Kou, you are undoubtedly the craziest, most aggravating woman in the entire universe!"

Taiki had barely even begun to get her bearings when a voice rang out, clear as a bell over the shimmering white space. She spun around on her heels in an attack pose, even though she realized she wasn't transformed and couldn't put up much of a fight in a simple white dress --

Lucas, wearing a white suit, tapped his foot impatiently. His wine-colored eyes narrowed to little slits.

"Taiki Kou, the brilliant martyr! You could have done a lot more good against that crazy bastard by fighting him than just letting yourself get killed! The Taiki I know wouldn't just stand there and wait to die!"

Taiki finally remembered to breathe.

Lucas' anger waned for a moment. "Oh, yes, and hello, anjo, nice to see you again. As I was saying--"

"You're...you..." For the first time she could remember, Taiki was at a complete loss for words.

A tiny little woman, not much bigger than Taiki's hand, appeared on Lucas' shoulder. She seemed to be nothing more than a ball of shimmering light. "You, Prince Lucas, need to explain yourself."

Surprised by the new presence, Lucas faltered sheepishly. "Um, yes, I suppose I do."

"Yes! Yes you do!" Taiki felt righteous indignation burn in her stomach. "Where the hell am I?!"

"Oh, that's easy enough," replied the tiny pixie. "This is the Galaxy Cauldron."

"The Cauldron?! The place where starseeds return and are reborn?"

Taiki could swear the pixie was smirking. "Well, I do not know of any other Cauldrons. And being that I am the guardian, I would know."

"Then I must be...dead?" Well, Kakyuu was sure going to be unhappy...

"Well, not exactly," Lucas looked down.

"I think that perhaps the two of you deserve some alone time. It has only been a decade since you last spoke, after all..." With that, the pixie faded back into the faint glow of the Cauldron.

"I have to be hallucinating. There's no way you could be here; not after what happened to your starseed..." A lump rose in Taiki's throat, and she suddenly found it difficult to look anywhere but her feet.

"I can't explain it either, anjo," Lucas said. "I felt myself explode into thousands of tiny bits, and then everything faded. Next I knew, I was here, in one big piece. One big, achy piece, mind you..."

"That's impossible!" Taiki shouted, unsure of why she was so vehement. "A Star Seed can't just regenerate itself! It goes against all the laws of science we know of!"

"You forget that Sailor Crystals aren't just ordinary Star Seeds. Ours can do things others can't; who's to say if we can't regenerate?" Lucas took a couple of tentative steps toward Taiki, hoping she wouldn't bite his head off.

"You can't be here," she said shakily, finally feeling brave enough to look up. She pointed a finger at him. "I saw Galaxia crush you in her hand. There's no way all of those tiny particles wound up here and reformed themselves! You...you can't possibly exist here!"

"Are you saying that because you don't want me to be here," Lucas asked quietly, "or because you're scared?"

"You just can't be here! It goes against everything my brain is telling me! I want this to be real - God, you don't even know how badly I want this to be real! - but it can't be!" Taiki threw her hands up in the air.

Lucas grabbed Taiki's shoulders and kissed her for all he was worth. Startled, Taiki tried to pull back, but slowly the panic left her and and she found herself returning the favor.

"Real enough for you?" Lucas asked quietly when he pulled away.

For lack of something better, Taiki muttered, "Uh-huh."

It took Taiki a few moments to regather her scattered thoughts. After a moment, she asked, "...so if I'm not dead, how did I end up in the Cauldron?"

"Well, I called in a favor with the Guardian," Lucas said. "I wanted to warn you about Rufus and his plans; I didn't know you were going to go bloody kamikaze on me!"

"...Do you even know what 'kamikaze' means, dear?"

Lucas blanched. "Uh, well, no, but...It fits, right?"

Taiki suddenly looked very embarassed. "Yes, I suppose it does."

"My point is," Lucas made an exasperated hand gesture. "You can't die now. Especially since I can't stay with you."

"I had the feeling you were going to say that," Taiki muttered. "I'm still doomed to be without a soulmate."

"Nuh-uh, I didn't say that," Lucas wagged his finger, smirking. "I just can't come back just yet, but give me another lifetime, we'll work something out.

"You need to get back down there and protect the Princess." Lucas' face became stone serious in seconds. "The threat isn't over - Rufus may be licking his wounds, but he's not done yet. You have to stand up to him, his REAL form, and take him out."

Taiki considered this.

"When I do that...is there the possibility that I'll end up here on a more permanent basis?"

Lucas sighed. "I'm not gonna lie to you, anjo. You might. But is it worth the risk to you, to protect Kakyuu-sama?"

"Absolutely." Taiki did not hesitate. "I'd die a thousand times over for her."

Lucas' grin spread from ear to ear. "Good girl. I knew you'd say that."

Taiki smiled - it was brief, but genuine all the same. "If it doesn't sound too forward...can I give you another kiss?"

"Anjo, I thought you'd never ask."

*~*~*~*~*

"Start with the good news." Seiya's stomach began to do flip-flops.

Kakyuu sat down in the last available chair. "Taiki is alive," she said quietly. "She's breathing, her heart pattern is a little shaky, but other than that..."

"So, the bad news is...?" asked Rhys.

Kakyuu looked down, trying to keep herself from crying. "The doctors haven't been able to monitor any brain activity for two hours. They say that if she remains this way for much longer, she will slip into a permanent coma."

"Permanent...coma?" The words tasted bitter in Seiya's mouth. "No. No, not...not Taiki..."

"Can we go in and see her?" Rhys asked quietly. He didn't want to add 'for the last time' although he was thinking it.

Kakyuu nodded. "I already said my..." The word "goodbyes" got caught in her throat. "You may go in."

Seiya stood up slowly and waited for Rhys to get his crutches. She opened the door silently and slipped inside, closing it behind Rhys.

Seiya almost screamed when she saw Taiki. She was hooked up to what appeared to be every machine known in the universe. Her entire torso was bandaged, and underneath the pale glow of hospital lighting, she looked so weak and fragile. She was breathing quietly, an oxygen mask cupped over her face, but did not stir when they entered.

"I...I can't do this. It isn't right, saying goodbye now..." Seiya backed into the door, but Rhys caught her arm.

"This might be your last chance to talk to her, Seiya. Don't chicken out now."

Seiya took a shuddering breath, nodded, and then approached Taiki's bed. She took her friend's hand - it was icy cold - and looked down. She tried to smile, but tears were already falling down her face.

"You're too stubborn to die," she warbled. "I knew you would be. You say you don't mind the sacrifice, but you don't want to let go."

Rhys limped over to the bed and put one hand on Seiya's back.

"You saved her, you know? Rhys and I might have fended off Rufus, but if it wasn't for you...You and your stupid human shield act. For a genius, you sure are dumb, Taiki. Didn't you think about how much it would hurt me if you died? Or do you even care?"

There was no response, except for the incessant beeping of the machines.

"Taiki, please, if you can hear me...Come out of this. We can't beat Rufus without you. He's too strong for me, a-and if you die, Kakyuu will be heartbroken, and Yaten won't ever stop crying..."

She sniffled, then laughed humorlessly. "Like I'm one to talk. I-I just wanted to say, th-that if you don't wake up...I love you so much, Taiki. I love you so much, I can't even express in words. You're so much braver than I could ever hope to be, and I hope you know that. And so does Yaten, and Kakyuu. You've done so much for us, and I don't think I ever got to thank you...

"So thank you, Taiki."

Seiya couldn't hold it any longer. She collapsed in on herself and began to sob, letting Taiki's hand rest on the bed.

Rhys moved his hand in comforting circles on Seiya's back. "I agree with everything Seiya said, Taiki. You mean so much to Kakyuu-sama, and to all of us..."

At that moment, he realized that even he was crying. How silly.

"Dammit, Taiki," Seiya mumbled miserably. "Come back..."

"You two are...so hormonal," Taiki wheezed painfully. "I'm not even dead yet, and you already look like...you're at my funeral. Get some....tissues, for God's sake."

Seiya squaked in surprise. "Taiki! You're--!"

Taiki opened her eyes slowly. "Uh...hey. I suppose that little...kamikaze thing...deserves some explaination."

"Shut up and let me hug you," Seiya sobbed, clutching Taiki's hand again. "I'm only hormonal 'cause you make me that way, you know..."

"No, don't you...blame that on me."

"Kakyuu-sama!" Rhys limped to the door and pounded on it with one of his crutches. "She's awake! Kakyuu-sama!"

With enough strength to knock out a wall, Kakyuu plowed through the door in a red blur. Rhys fell soundly on his bottom as the princess flew to Taiki's bedside, throwing his crutches in two different directions.

"That wasn't very nice of you, Kakyuu-sama," Rhys whined from the floor. "Anyone? A little help? Please?"

"Oh, we'll get to you in a minute!" Kakyuu bent over the bed, crimson hair puddling on her shoulders. "Taiki, you're terrible! I thought you had gone and died on me..."

"Pish posh," Taiki murmured sleepily. "I'd never do something like that."

The moment was ruined when a swarm of nurses descended on the room, pausing only briefly to help the displaced Prince of Mermaid off the floor.

*~*~*~*~*

Yaten felt as though there were seven thousand elephants trying to sit on her lungs. In fewer words, she felt like shit.

Though somehow the palace staff had managed to cart Vail off to the hospital, she was still out in the rain, making quite a mess of the balcony. It was a good thing she didn't come out here very often.

She couldn't remember how long she'd been on the ground. She knew that she'd heard Vail fall, and she had seen him, bleeding on the roses, and then suddenly the entire planet of Kinmoku had come tumbling down upon her. Her vision faded in and out as her heartbeat raced, and she was seeing two pictures at once: Vail kept falling over that railing, over and over, while she herself was holding a gun. But she was not greeted with the hollow echo of a bullet in the air...

"PRINCESS!" Yaten must have screamed that word a thousand times. Her heart was beating double time, and she could feel Kakyuu's fear throbbing in her own chest. Never before had her connection to her princess been so profound. She could feel what her Princess felt, but never in tune with her own feelings, and certainly never with her own vision. Or halluications, as they were.

She had tried many times to get to her feet, and a few of them succeeded. Once she made it all the way to the door handle, but not before she heard Taiki scream inside Kakyuu's head ... her head? It was hard to tell now...

Yaten tasted blood running down the back of her throat. Perhaps screaming it raw wasn't a terribly good idea. She writhed around on the cold marble balcony, clutching at her side, as if it would do her any good. She had to get to the hospital - her double vision could see monitors, and Taiki's form breathing shallowly - she had to get there fast...

Just as Yaten's hand was about to touch the doorknob, a foot came down on her windpipe.

*~*~*~*~*~*

When, Taiki mused to herself, had hospital rooms been decorated with floating purple elephants?

She wasn't sure, exactly, but as her lungs spasmed in her chest, she was sure that she could see floating purple elephants. Or maybe they were kittens...

"What did you DO?!" Kakyuu shrilled, trying to wrestle out of the grip of the nurses and Seiya. "She was just FINE until you DRUGGED HER!"

"Kakyuu-sama, it was normal procedure! It was just antibiotics!" exclaimed the head nurse, as a few orderlies frantically tried to stabilize Taiki's heartbeat. Her glazed violet eyes watched bemusedly. Maybe if they took the clown suits off, they would have an easier time.

It was a nice feeling, she decided, as the white-clad women desperately pumped more drugs into her system. It would have felt like swimming, if Taiki had ever tried it. Taiki pulsed lightly over energy waves that seemed to fill the whole room, and they gently warmed her skin.

"It's nice, isn't it?"

Taiki's brow furrowed. Kakyuu had been restrained by Seiya ...when had she come to her bedside? And started hovering by it?

"Mm," Taiki murmured in agreement. "But what's got everyone so worked up? It's not all together unpleasant."

Kakyuu shrugged. "I don't know. Seiya always gets easily worked up. She was so hysterical when she thought you were dead. Silly, huh?"

Taiki giggled. That was silly.

From his secluded and somewhat achy corner of the room, Rhys felt something. Something pulled in his chest, screaming at him to do something. But he was no medical expert - hell, he'd probably make things worse!

YOU BLASTED IDIOT! IT IS NOT THE DRUGS THAT ARE CAUSING SAILOR STAR MAKER TO HALLUCINATE!

Well, he recognized that voice, anyway.

"Oh. Well, fuck, then," he muttered. "What am I supposed to do, kick all the nurses out?"

UH, WELL, YEAH.

"As the Crown Prince of the Manatee Castle of Mermaid, I demand that all of the nurses exit this room at once!" Rhys bellowed, waving his crutches around menacingly and looking like he could do some particularly nasty bodily harm with them.

Every single orderly and nurse fled the room at once, leaving the clatter of clipboards and empty pill bottles behind.

"Wow. Mother would be impressed." Rhys came hurriedly toward Taiki's bed. Now with fewer hands holding her back, Kakyuu flung herself towards the bed.

"Taiki?" Kakyuu shrilled. "Taiki, say something!"

"What'd was that?" Taiki mumbled, talking with a mouth full of marbles. Literally. She spit a few out on the bed, and they hit the cold floor with a few clacks.

"Oh, that was nothing," said Kakyuu's voice, but she was nowhere to be found. Taiki peered around to both sides, but she saw no one, except for a few cotton candy-colored kittens and palm trees. After a few moments, she appeared again, floating down to Taiki's bed and getting comfortable. She put a slippered foot on Taiki's leg, and it began to play an interesting game of "footsy."

"I don't think the hospital staff will like that very much, Ouhi," Taiki said, blushing furiously. "Of course, they are the ones who let those purple elephants in here..."

"Taiki!" Rhys leaned over the bed, shaking Taiki's shoulders lightly. She gave no response, and continued to stare blankly over his shoulder with a placidly bemused smile. The machines were beeping crazily, giving all sorts of readings that he could not understand.

"Where's Yaten?" Seiya asked suddenly, and Kakyuu turned on her in surprise.

"Wasn't she in with Vail?" Kakyuu looked nervously at the door. She hadn't seen Yaten recently...

"No, not when I was there. This is suspicious." It was more than suspicious - Seiya's head was pounding like a tribal drum. She couldn't help the sick feeling that was creeping up her stomach.

"Seiya. What's happened to Yaten?" Kakyuu approached Seiya, knowing the look on her face. "You can feel something, can't you?"

"I'm sure it's just my worry about Taiki," Seiya said lamely. She backed up anxiously as Kakyuu began to advance more quickly, eyes narrowing.

"You're lying to me, Seiya!" Kakyuu grabbed Seiya by the shoulders. "Tell me! Tell me what happened to Yaten!"

"Ouhi, I'm sure it's nothing!" Seiya squacked, still backing up. Quickly, she found herself pinned up against the wall by the delicate princess. Rhys swallowed hard as he felt bile rise up in his throat - did he do his job and wake up Taiki, or help Seiya?

Suddenly, all the machines went silent. Rhys screamed, but Kakyuu didn't seem to notice.

Taiki was still blushing as Kakyuu snuggled in closer. "I like being alone with you. We don't spend enough time together, Taiki..."

"Ouhi--"

"Please, Taiki," Kakyuu cooed. "Just call me Kakyuu." She placed her head on Taiki's shoulder, putting her hands on the girl's breasts. Taiki was tomato red by now.

"Ouhi, I--" Again, the princess cut her off. This time, it was with a kiss. At first, Taiki thought to resist, and she tried to pull away, but she found that she couldn't. Besides, it felt so good...

The Taiki I know wouldn't just stand there and wait to die!

Taiki balked, and with all the strength she had, she threw Rufus out of the bed. He stumbled out, tripping as his foot caught on the bed railing.

"Get off me!" she screeched. "You filthy bastard! You can't win me that way!"

"Ouhi, please, I'm sure Yaten is fine!" Seiya insisted as Kakyuu gripped her shoulders harder.

"Liar," she hissed, and backhanded Seiya across the face.

"Seiya!" Rhys' brain was getting whiplash. He looked to the door hopefully, but there were no nurses to be found.

Seiya looked up from the floor, stunned. She touched her cheek gingerly - it was already starting to bruise. "Kakyuu..."

"Don't you ever lie to me, Seiya Kou!" Kakyuu screamed, tears pouring down her face. "Don't you EVER LIE TO ME!"

Rufus smirked ingrainingly. "And I would have gotten away with it, if it weren't for that meddling kid..."

Taiki growled like a feral cat, wishing fervently that she could get out of the bed. But every time she tried to raise her head, the world spun and went black.

"Can't you do anything without playing dirty?" she said, pointing a finger at him as sweat poured down her forehead.

Rufus considered it, blue eyes flashing. "Nope."

Rhys stared from Taiki to Seiya and back again. Deciding that the girl in the hospital bed was in just a little more danger, he again made a feeble attempt to shake her awake. "Darn it, Taiki, open your eyes!"

For a moment, his heart sank into his stomach; it seemed as though she was lost forever. Finally he got a response, though not the one he had been looking for. He didn't even see her fist begin to move. Not until it connected with his jaw, that is.

Rhys stumbled backward awkwardly, his cast trapped underneath the bed. His whole head throbbed to his heartbeat, every nerve ending writing in agony.

"Well, that's a start," he mumbled over loose teeth.

"What's going on?" Taiki felt her muscles tingle, and then go numb. Her hand fell like a limp noodle into her lap. Rufus began to chuckle softly.

"...Seiya?" Kakyuu whimpered meekly.

"Don't you ever lie to me, Seiya Kou! Don't you EVER LIE TO ME!"

Seiya got to her feet slowly. "Ouhi, I don't mean to lie to you," she stuttered, "but I don't know what happened to Yaten! You know I'd never keep things from you!"

Kakyuu sobbed, falling to her knees. She was going crazy. That was the only explanation. First she'd lied to Seiya, and now she'd struck her! What was next?

"Ouhi, what's wrong?" Seiya panicked, getting down to one knee. "What is it?"

Kakyuu looked up at Seiya, whose face was beginning to swell and purple. Seiya put her hand over the top of her princess', and Kakyuu pulled away as though her hand had been aflame.

"Don't comfort me! I don't deserve it!"

Seiya looked back, confused. "Ouhi, I know you're upset. I can forgive you for hitting--"

"No! I don't want forgiveness!" Kakyuu put her head in her hands. "God, why didn't Taiki just let me die..."

"Don't say that," Taiki whispered, still staring blankly to the side. "Ouhi, please, don't say that..."

Rhys reached out, but as soon as he touched Taiki's arm, she grabbed his wrist and flung him at the wall. His head connected with a shelf of medicine and he slumped to the ground, bleeding. The shelf creaked and then broke from the wall, hitting the ground and showering Rhys in broken glass and colored liquid.

"Ugh. That wasn't very nice, Taiki," he said woozily, getting back to his feet. The machines were still silent, but at least he knew she wasn't dead.

"Let me out of here!" Taiki shrieked, trying desperately to move. "I don't know what you're doing to me, but it won't work! I won't be a tool for you!" Rufus laughed louder, harder, his entire body shaking.

Rhys blinked as the smell of smoke wafted past his nose. What could have been causing that?

"I WON'T LET YOU USE ME!"

Every machine hooked up to Taiki exploded in a flash of white light.