~3 Lights x 2 (or 3...)~



*Disclaimer*

Three Lights are copyright to Naoko Takeuchi, Kodansha, Toei, and Bandai. Katayama Sayuri,  

Ono Hikari, and Okuyama Momoko belong to themselves but I have kidnapped them for the 

purpose of this fic. Pocky is copyright to Glico, but it just wouldn't be a comic fic 

without pocky, now would it? All strobe lights used are property of Bandai, and no 

Starlights-in-training were harmed in the making of this fic.



 - - - - - - -



The Three Lights are reviewing scripts for their newest movie. 



Yaten: "I can't believe how few lines I got!"



Taiki: "I thought this was a classically beautiful romance story artfully directed in the 

spirit of Casablanca!"



Seiya: "Car chase, sweet!!"



Yaten: "What's with all the action scenes? Jumping off buildings?! I wasn't told this kind 

of stuff was going to be in the movie! I can't do this... my God, what if I break into a 

sweat?!"



Seiya: "Yeah, we're famous idols, you know! We just can't go around breaking legs whenever 

we feel like it."



Director: "No need to worry. You won't be performing these scenes at all. You see, I have 

hired stunt doubles for all three of you. Seiya, Taiki, Yaten - meet Sayuri, Hikari, and 

Momoko."



Momoko: "Hiya."



Hikari: "Yo."



Sayuri: "Yoroshiku."



Seiya: "Dude... stunt doubles! That's almost as cool as having your own clone."



Usagi: "Wah~!! She has such cute cheeks!!" (Usagi runs up to pinch Sayuri's cheeks)



Seiya: (jealous) "Odango! Hey, don't forget I'm the real Seiya, you know."



Usagi: (is too busy playing with Sayuri's cheeks) ^__^



Sayuri: ....... -_-;



Yaten: "But she's not pretty enough to be me."



Momoko: "NAni!! I'm the cutest, most adorable Yaten you'll ever find!"



Yaten: "Adorable?!" (holds out movie script) "Hello? I'm supposed to a brooding, moody 

bishounen!!"



Momoko: "Hmmm... Naaah... I like adorable better. You gotta give the fans what they want. 

Endearing yet clueless comic relief." ^^



Yaten: "Comic relief??!! Gah!!" (holds head in anguish)



Taiki: "So, you guys will be doing all the action scenes? The jumping off the buildings, 

falling down the stairs, leaping six cars with a motorcycle stuff?"



Hikari: "Jumping from buildings? Leaping cars with motorcycles? You're kidding me, right?"



Taiki: "You're the stunt doubles, aren't you?"



(Sayuri, Hikari, and Momoko laugh)



Sayuri: "Yeah, right. You think we're going to do all the hard stuff for you and then let 

you take the credit?"



Hikari: "It's quite obvious. We're here to replace you."



Momoko: (nods)



Seiya: "Replace us? What's this all about?!"



Hikari: "Truth be told, your act is growing rather stale. We've decided we can do better."



Taiki: "Stale? Excuse me?"



Momoko: "Come on... the rainbow suits, throwing the roses into the audience, and the songs! 

Take Nagareboshi He, for instance... you expect to get popular singing elevator music like 

that?"



Yaten: "Wait a second, we're the Three Lights!! You can't just replace us!"



Sayuri: "We've already decided on a new theme song."



(The lights dim. An electric guitar and drums starts up, as the three break into song.)



Sayuri: "Go!!"



"Chasin' After You, oimotomete

Ano fureiguransu anata wo

Dare mo ubae yashinai sa

Kaguwa shiki hoshi wo



memorii wa biryuushi sa

Deeply in my heart, shimi tsuita mama

Taema naku kakitateru

Kono kokoro, Crazy Me!



Yozora wo suberu ryuusei no

Imawa no kirameki ni kake

Anata ni tadori tsukeru koto

Hitasura chikau yo

Shoutin' For My Love

Shoutin' For Your Love"



Seiya: "They do dance pretty well. How come we never dance?"



Yaten: "Hey!! I don't care how they dance, that ditz is not replacing ME!"



Taiki: "Anyway, aren't you, like, 30 by now?"



Hikari: "ARE YOU CALLING ME MIDDLE-AGED?!" (Sayuri and Momoko restrain a murderous Hikari: 

"Oi, oi!")



Hikari: (calms down and pushes her glasses up her nose [when did she get glasses? 0.o]) 

"Fine then. But you know, Experience is beauty, and as my favorite poet Keats once said, 

'Beauty is youth.'"



Taiki: (twitch) "Don't you mean 'Beauty is truth'?"



Hikari: "Ah, same difference!"



Seiya: "Anyway, you can't just steal our name and our identities! That's like... copyright 

fraud or something!"



Sayuri: (hands Yaten an important-looking document) "We've already filed the lawsuit. We 

were Three Lights first. The three of you are guilty of copyright infrigement."



Yaten: "Nani?! That's impossible!"



Seiya: "WE came up with the concept of Three Lights! How dare you accuse us of stealing!"



Sayuri: "Oh, really? Well, we have solid proof that that statement is not true."



Momoko: "Yep." (pulls out a copy of Sailor Moon manga volume 16) "We made our stage debut as 

Three Lights in the summer of 1996, after which YOU made your first appearance in this book, 

published in... umm... well... actually, guys, they really were first."



Hikari: (grabs the manga from Momoko and throws it away) "That doesn't matter! We're still 

filing a lawsuit!"



Sayuri: "Aren't these the anime Lights, anyway?"



Hikari: "Yeah, when did the anime debut?"



Momoko: "I dunno."



Yaten: "I have a headache..."



Usagi: "Sayuri-chaaaaan, can I have your autograph?"



Seiya: "Odango, how could you betray me like this!!!"



Taiki: "Umm... then who's going to be jumping off the building?"



Hikari: "Ah. That would be our doubles."



Yaten: (blinks) "The stunt doubles have doubles?"



Hikari: (snaps her fingers) "Doubles! Front and center!"



(Three uncertain-looking teenage girls jump forward.)



Hikari: "Meet Chinatsu, Akiko, and Mikako."



Sayuri: "Our new doubles. Still in training, mind you."



Yaten: "Don't tell me... ANOTHER set of Three Lights?!"



Momoko: "Yep."



Hikari: "Don't make us bring in Shiho, Narumi, and Chika!"



Taiki: "Now I have a headache."



Momoko: "Doubles! Get to work filming the 'Jumping Off the Building' scene!"



(The doubles scurry off to obey, while Sayuri, Hikari, and Momoko seat themselves 

comfortably in director's chairs labeled "Seiya", "Taiki", and "Yaten", sipping iced tea and 

munching pocky.)



"Aaaaaaah!!" (Chinatsu jumps off the building into a trampoline.)



Sayuri: "Isn't this rather cruel? They ARE legitimate Three Lights like us, you know."



Momoko: "They're newbies! This is their initiation."



Hikari: "We didn't have an initiation like that."



Momoko: "That's true. Hmm... Oh well. I suppose it IS pretty fun to watch."



"Aaaaaaah!!" (Akiko jumps off the building into a trampoline.)



Seiya: "All right! I've had enough of this! You three are NOT stealing our movie OR our 

identities! FIGHTER STAR POWER, MAKE UP!"



Taiki: "Agreed! MAKER STAR POWER, MAKE UP!"



Yaten: "I will NOT be made into comic relief!! HEALER STAR POWER, MAKE UP!"



"Aaaaaaah!!" (Mikako jumps off the building into a trampoline.)



Hikari: (takes a sip of iced tea) "Interesting. Interesting, but not really impressive."



Momoko: "You think you're better than us just because you can grow boobs?"



Sayuri: "Yeah, I bet they've never transformed by strobe light."



Momoko: "Let's show them!"



Hikari: "All right!"



(The three stand up.)



Sayuri: "FIGHTER STAR POWER!"



Hikari: "MAKER STAR POWER!"



Momoko: "HEALER STAR POWER!"



All 3: "MAKE UP!"



(The lights go dim and strobe lights start flashing while Sayuri, Hikari, and Momoko strip 

to reveal Starlights costumes.)



All 3: (striking a pose) "SAILOR STARLIGHTS, STAGE ON!"



Chinatsu, Akiko, & Mikako: "Aaaaaaah!!"



Hikari-Maker: "Prepare to feel the wrath of my Ninja Yell!"



Sayuri-Fighter: (puts a hand on Hikari's shoulder) "It's *Star Yell*, Hikari... Star Yell."



Hikari-Maker: "Oh... right. Can't we rename them?"



Sayuri & Momoko: "No."



Seiya-Fighter: "What the..? All you did was strip! Those are nothing but costumes. You're 

fakes!"



Momoko-Healer: "Did you hear that? They called us fakes! I think we should show them our 

true power, don't you?"



Hikari-Maker: "Definitely. In case you didn't know, the Starlights in the musical had an 

attack that the anime Starlights never had, making US more powerful."



Yaten-Healer: "Masaka!"



Seiya-Fighter: (flipping through a musical script) "Damn! How could they do that to us! This 

is so totally unfair!"



Sayuri, Hikari, & Momoko: "STARLIGHTS FUSION TEMPEST!"



"Aaaaaaah!!" (Seiya, Taiki, and Yaten are blinded by strobe lights.)



Hikari-Maker: "Heh heh heh."







***To Be Continued***



...maybe....



~~ abigail@makenai.org